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NF: Cheating ZK: Not a no-no, per se, but typically not what I’m looking for. NF: Constant sex, punctuated by snack breaks at well-reviewed local eateries ZK: You’ve gotta cap it off at 10 to 15 or else you might scare them away.First dates should be about feeling out each other’s vibes and seeing if you want a second. NF: Enough to need an unlimited data plan ZK: I want it, but I don’t want to rush it.I think it’s important to find yourself before you settle down with another, and being single can be an incredible time for self-discovery. NF: Marriage was the best thing that ever happened to me. (Seriously, I wish it were that recent.)NF: 6am, before my wife caught a flight, under the watchful eyes of the TSA. NF: 5-7 times a week, depending on what TV shows we’re watching. NF: Good communication, a strong connection with your partner and a giant pump-action lube bottle that you have to hide when people come over. ZK: If I don’t respond immediately, it’s because I’m trying desperately to come up with a witty response that doesn’t feel forced.

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Everything seems so much more vivid and meaningful when you’re in love with your best friend. No, I probably check out other women two or three times a day, but I check out my wife constantly. We had to start having sex before we watch because it got too disturbing. ZK: If someone cheats on you early in a relationship, that’s typically a deal-breaker, because it could be a sign of more strife to come. NF: I’m an enigma, filled with text riddles such as “I’m coming home now,” “Should I pick up anything? ”ZK: I put pants on for all my dates.....never :(NF: My wife and I have a date night every Wednesday. ZK: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends.

Marriage is secretly a free pass to stare at your spouse’s booty 24/7. ZK: I puff out my feathers and engage in an elaborate mating dance, circling my potential partner exactly 8 times and gifting her with the finest twigs. But it’s good to hear someone out — what was the circumstance, did they get caught or admit it with remorse, and do you believe it’s an isolated incident? If friends don’t like the person you’re dating, that’s usually a sign there’s something you’re not seeing. But I only want it to give myself foot and back and foot massages. NF: Um, I really want to take a bath and then surprise, the rubber duck is a vibrator.

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